EIGHT

Here is my song to Theodore: I know you, you interrupt me every time I dream. I know you, those tears in your eyes are so familiar a thing. And I know it's true that babies are cuter in hindsight. But if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll wake me at once the way you did once, every hour all night. 

 2016 week eight

I had a dream one night this week. That's all. It was my first time in 4 months that I slept long enough to have a dream.

These tears in her eyes are because when we got to Costco she realized she left "Glamour Cat" at home. She cried about it the whole time. Oh to be two and feel so intensely. 

By the way this is Glamour Cat:

She's really important in our lives right now. 

Quotes:

Mama, we need to put makeup in our hair. It's really important! Here! Here is your peppermint for your hair!

Mama! I can touch you now! (Thanks creepy Voldemort child)

Yesterday night I had a dream about slobsters. They were chasing me and you turned into a slobster and I smashed you.

At the doctors office she interrupted the doctor to say, "I have a giraffe." My doctor has 11 kids so he's no stranger to bizarre toddler conversations I'm sure. A minute later she interrupted again to say, "And I call him Gireeeeeeeafff!"

*Squeak squeak squeak* Vera makes her giraffe talk to her in squeaks now and has full conversations with him while he squeaks back to her.

Vera doesn't say, "I'm hot." She  prefers to say, "I'm getting sweaty." It always makes me laugh imagining her as an adult not saying, "I'm hot" but "I'm sweaty." Hah.

Things I have to say:

Stop licking up the sour cream!


Stories:

There has been so. much. crying. around here lately. Whether it's Theodore at 4, 5, and 6 am. Or Vera because I took a hair tie out of MY hair. Or me because as soon as they're asleep I love them so much and miss them and think with aching sadness about the baby Veronica that I will never get to hold or kiss or squeeze again because that baby is gone and seriously, they deserve a better mom than I am. But really the crying. It is out of hand. Vera has been exploding into tears over nothing. She goes from zero to sobs faster than anything. Happily laughing on the toilet and then mean mom takes down her hair to get ready for bed and suddenly she's sobbing and screaming, "NO WE DONT TAKE HAIR DOWN BEFORE BED!" Whoa, cool it child.  Or she's happily eating lunch and a grain of rice falls off her spoon and Bam, meltdown. Let's see what else has she melted down about lately? Papa did her hair "wrong", I put a bow in her hair. her sock was inside out, her swing was swinging in the wind, a zipper is broken... Suddenly www.reasonsmysoniscrying.com is too real and too close to home. I get a swelling bubble of hysterical frustration in my chest and I dont know if it's going to burst in laughter or tears. Like when Theo needs to go to sleep and as I put the pacifier in his mouth he blocks it with his tongue and spits it as far as he can and then laughs at me -I feel that hysterical frustration right there too.

Theodore likes to hold food in his mouth until I remove his bib. He then strategically chooses to spit it out everywhere. Thanks kid. Peas are surprisingly hard to get out of clothing.

The mosquito eater bugs have emerged and are everywhere. We had a really big one in our hallway the other day. I was afraid of them as a child and don't want Vera to be as paralyzed by bugs as I was so I play it cool. She acted afraid of it but I told her it was a fairy bug and she should not be afraid of it. I'm nicer than my friend's brothers who called them "Girl-eating bugs." She had one hundred questions about it, What does it eat? Does it talk? Why can't it talk? Why is it's mouth too small to talk? Why does it eat mosquitoes? Why doesn't it bite me? Can I touch it?
I said yes to the touching as long as she was very gentle. She would ask, "Can I touch it?" I would say, "Yes, but be gentle." She would think a minute and decide, "I don't want to touch it actually." approximately 2 seconds later, "Can I touch the fairy bug?" me "Yes." her "I don't want to ."
We had some friends over later that day and I was visiting in the living room when we heard the scream of pure terror. My friend looked worried, "Oh no! What happened?" And I laughed, "I know what happened. She finally worked up the nerve to touch the fairy bug." And there was Vera sitting in a sparkly heap sobbing. I asked her what was wrong and she screamed, "The fairy bug flew away!" I asked, "Did you try to touch it?" Vera: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" We found it in her room and she kept sobbing, "It flew away! It flew away! I just want to touch the fairy bug!"



And this is what being in my car is like: