FIFTY

Slow morning snuggling in bed watching Little Bear.

2015 week fifty

70 degrees in December is actually glorious. We're having the loveliest autumn just nudging up to Christmas.

I made homemade marshmallows and it changed my life (only regarding marshmallows -so a very small portion). I couldn't help taking a photo.

Vera asked me to take a photo of her hot chocolate as well. And because children are a mirror to our silliness, I see how silly it would seem to someone else that we take photos of our hot chocolate...

This is how she posed for her requested photo of her eating a snack. I'm dying over that bow. It's so huge but I also love it. 

I had a fit of craftiness come over me and I made her this little felt placemat. When she saw it she squealed, "A SANTA CLAUS BEAR?!?!?!"

V left her tutu next to Theo and he promptly pulled it over his face. He has the grabbiest and scratchiest little hands. He nearly broke my necklace today while he simultaneously scratched up my neck.

Our ward Christmas party was "A Night in Bethlehem." Everyone was supposed to dress as biblical as they could. Luckily, this disgusting grey dress is Vera's favorite. AND even more luckily, I had this hijab from Egypt for her to wear.

Everyone was supposed to bring a blanket and sit together as a family to eat during a little Christmas musical program. I'm a little too precious these days with all the hormones and seeing Vera's eyes light up with wonder at all the different bazaar tents that were set up made me choke back tears. So did singing silent night while holding my swaddled baby. Too many tender feelings -I couldn't handle myself.

It was really tender and special. And the smoked turkey was phenomenal. Though I did feel uncomfortable that as we were all impersonating biblical era Jews, we were also eating ham. I feel like the planning committee overlooked that a bit...

And Theo got to be baby Jesus lying in the manger. He did not love the scratchy manger. That night I was thinking about how horrible it would be to actually give birth in a stable. And I had an almost panicky awe come over me: How did anyone survive before now? How do people give birth and live their lives without running water? I felt a great sense of my own inadequacy. 

And this is December in Texas. It's actually properly autumn now. Though when we ate dinner outside I got 15 mosquito bites on my ankles. I feel like I'm going a bit mad over these G*** D*** bugs. I'm ready to go to extreme measures to remove them so we can utilize our yard that I adore.

To get her to play outside for extended lengths I have to relent on my "No dress up or giraffes outside" rule. It works and she's old enough now to take care of her animals outside.

Quotes:

I can hear the clouds! They're lying in the ground by the dandelions.

These pajamas are magical for me!

Me, I love you Vera.
V, I LOVE you TOOOOOOO Mama. (this was the first time she ever said it as a response to me telling her I loved her first and it was so tender)

Me, How do you want me to do your hair?
V, I want a pig tail... And a pig eye... And a pig nose!

Look at my poop, Mama! It's a candy cane poop! I can eat it!

V, When I get bigger like Papa, I can have a penis too.
Me, No. You're a girl you wont grow a penis.
V, I will only have a urethra, though.

Mama, if you ever need help with that bug, you come ask me, ok?

Me, Vera what do you want to wear today?
V, Black pants. Black shirt. Black sweater.
so classy ;)

V, Mama look in that yard they have a kangaroo AND a dog!
Me, It's not a kangaroo it's just a dog.
V, No. It's just a kangaroo and a dog. I'll show you.

A big grey bug crawled onto V's plate during lunch and I started and flicked it off the table.
V, What kind of bug is this?
Me, I think it is a squash bug.
she looks at it for a minute.
V, No I think it is a turtle bug.

I overhear her telling her giraffe:
It's my tank top and I'm supposed to wear it EVERY DAY!

I love Christmas lights all through the night.

Giraffe, calm down. Why are you crying? Can you stop crying? Ok, I think you need to take a break. *closes him in the laundry room and then shouts* ARE YOU DONE CRYING? DO YOU FEEL BETTER? *opens the door* Did you take a rest and now you are calm?
This is her entire life right now apparently.  I love to see her process and foment her life by acting it out with the giraffe. She loves that thing and begs us to dress it and put diapers on it all the time. She even tries to put her own clothes on it.

If Papa doesn't go to work we wont have any more cereal and if he does go to work we will have more cereal and that's why we love him.


Stories:

Vera loves Calvin and Hobbes so much and reads it to giraffe frequently. This is one of her favorites:

The other night she was walking around her room with her hand in her shirt like this laughing to herself and saying, "It's just like Calvin's Papa! Silly hand!"


I feel like I should tell some story about Theo. What can I say? He's a good baby. He sleeps a ton during the day, I've forgotten what's normal. And I have never seen Vera wet a diaper like he does. This morning after I fed him and changed him at 2am he was still kicking and fussing at 3. So I thought it has to be the diaper even though there is no way. Not only was it his diaper, but also he had peed so much that he actually soaked through the diapers and all of his pajamas. I'm surprised he didn't dry up after that. He really hates being on his stomach but has a pretty strong neck I think. We showed him the baby mobile for the first time and he lied there for 10 minutes silently staring at the little hanging toys kicking his feet with all his might. Vera never loved it that much. It was really sweet.


The other day when it was so lovely outside I forced V to play outside until she loved it so much she didn't want to come in. I sat outside with her for a while and pulled out the pomegranate to slowly eat it in the warm sunshine. My little beggar child saw food going into my mouth so was at my side in a flash begging seeds off me. As we ate the pomegranate she asked me to tell her a story, so naturally I had to tell her the story of Persephone and the three pomegranate seeds. She was really into me telling her a story and has now been requesting more stories about mamas and girls. It's been fun to take story archetypes and tell her little fairy tales of my (partial) invention. She loves them. It was very fulfilling to sit outside with her hearing the birds and airplanes and tell her stories she hadn't heard before. It was one of those mother-and-child moments that I envisioned. Toddlerdom is hard and can be horrible, but it is also the gateway to the sweetest time of bonding and growing and learning. And I'm very much looking forward to these next few years filled with reading more books, and telling stories and opening up to her the fairy world that I love. I'm so excited.