Perfect for each other

Inspired by a friend's 3-year anniversary post on the perfect and not-so-perfect things about her husband, Husband and I played the same game last night.

We started with the not so perfect, and when I prompted him to begin the perfect he said, "Those ones aren't funny. What am I going to say *dons a dweebie voice* You're the best cook in the world! And then you'll say 'awwwwwwww', and it'll be dumb." So we stopped at the not so perfect things. And he's right, they are pretty funny.


Not so perfect things about Husband:

1. If something isn't explained in the exact words that he would have used, he doesn't understand it at all. To this one he responded, "You mean if you explain it dumb? Yeah." There we are. Case in point.

2. He ALWAYS loses things. I never lose things so this is a big one. The worst part is, he doesn't lose things and then try to find them. He loses things and goes about his merry way whistling a tune. "They'll turn up eventually." Are you kidding me? If I so much as lose a bobby pin I turn into Gollum searching for my precious. One time he lost $75 headphones, and no, he didn't look for them he just took mine. And no, they never turned up.

3. He makes me watch scary movie trailers. He says they wont be that bad, but they always are and then I'm afraid to pee in the middle of the night.

4. He attacks me with the lego planes he builds. He chases me around the house and makes plane sound effects and then pinches me and swoops the plane out of my reach.

5. He tries to shame me while pooping. And he always yells "There she blows" when I'm trying to sneeze and inevitably scares the sneeze away. Stopping mid sneeze is a horrible feeling.


Not so perfect things about Me:

1. I never want a coke, I just want the first sip of his. This one always gets him. But it's true, I just want the first icy super bubbly sip and then I'm fine. You can have the rest. Sometimes we wrestle over the can.

2. I am afraid of spiders. I'm not sure why this is something not perfect about me. But it was his choice.

3. I take my clothes off in such a way that they are turned inside out. It drives him nuts. If he is ever doing the laundry he purposely folds my clothes inside-out to "teach me a lesson". It doesn't teach me anything.

4. I leave the doors open for the nice weather but then I complain about mosquitoes.

5. The worst one: Lana Helping. It is a phrase he coined that makes me so embarrassed. Lana Helping by definition is doing something that you think is helping, like putting away his jacket that he left on the floor, but actually makes things harder for the person you are trying to help, like he needed to grab that jacket and run out the door but it was hung up in the closet. I hate being accused of Lana Helping, and sadly, I Lana Help a lot. But I still think that shouldn't be a phrase.


I love my husband. We laughed so hard over these.