Bells on a Hill

just kidding. We live in Texas -there are no hills here.

One thing I recently discovered that I love about our house is that you can hear church bells periodically. It is the most charming thing. Also, we're 1 mile from the library, and 1/2 mile from a huge park and 1/4 mile from a cemetery, which is lovely. We are also 1 mile from the worst middle school in the district, and 1 mile from this super neat Mexican grocery store -but someone got shot there last year. So, it evens out. The bells, though, those are great.

Some of you know that Genderless Baby Cole (aka Lancelot) has some sort of heart issue. For those of you who don't know this, I found out on Valentines day. Husband loves to point to the irony of situations even when they are somber.  Well, since then I have had 5 doctors appointments -yeah, really. This has equated to days when I do not get paid. And today I went to a fetal cardiologist in Dallas. She said that it is the most common heart irregularity they see and babies grow out of it by the latest birth. Oddly enough, I had the same issue in utero. So it was good news. But sitting (lying) through 5 ultrasounds in less than a week has stopped being fun. My arms went numb today and I think I'm getting a bruise on my belly. Having that magic wand positioned in one place for 25 minutes is uncomfortable. But even though it was good news, they still want to see me in a month -but not in a month when I'm on spring break and wouldn't have to miss out on work. No, that would be too convenient, so the tech is going on vacation just for me! I have to come back when I do have to miss work. poop on you tech.

The office in Dallas was really close to the temple, so instead of making the trek again this weekend, I just decided to go now. Or the Spirit decided (?) and told me (?) Either way, I went. And even though it was good news from the doctor, the anxiety of it all plus being pregnant and hormoney made me teary. Being in the temple was conflicting because I wanted to pray and think, but if I did I knew I would start crying. And even though I'm an adult, I still feel the same way about crying in public as I did in Middle School -I would rather accidentally pee my pants. I feel so exposed when I cry in public, and there is an odd cultural phenomena here in the US (SUPER pervasive with us LDS folk) that if we see someone crying we are compelled to ask them what is wrong.

Seriously. I'm a stranger and trying to hold it together and I couldn't take it anymore so some tears came out. Do you think I want a hug from you? Let me clarify -I do not want a hug from you or your consolation.

I get mean when I cry (unless it's in front of Husband, then I get needy). So I held it in until I could have a good detoxing cry in the car, followed by a hot chocolate and mini lemon tart from La Madeleine.

So to wrap it up, Baby Cole is fine and I can hear church bells as I garden.