Often social cues work to my disadvantage because one kid does something naughty, and I try to ignore it so they don't get attention, but 5 other kids think "hey that looks like fun" so they start doing the same naughty thing. Then I have to clap loudly and stop it.
They are beginning to work to my advantage however when one kid is doing something naughty and no one else follows them. I can say, "Do you see how all of your friends are sitting on their names criss-cross applesauce? I want you to sit like all of your friends." More and more frequently this is working. I can blame the good behavior on their friends, not on me forcing them to do something.
I took a social psychology class in college and it was one of the best classes I ever took. Social cues are such an important part of our group and individual psychology. Do you remember being in elementary school or middle school (I think middle school has the strongest social cues) and that one weird kid just didn't seem to understand? We do not laugh at the teacher's corny jokes, otherwise you must be dumb. Uhm, why is he blowing his nose so loudly in class? Doesn't he know everyone can hear him?! How embarrassing that you use an off-brand chapstick. Smuckers and Burts Bees are the only acceptable brands. I remember so many times only doing something because EVERYONE else (obviously) did it that way. In so many ways this is bad. But I think it's an evolutionary advantage, probably; in the wild as well as in middle school (redundant?).
Something I have been forever trying to rid myself of is the compulsion to pretend I understand. Why am I so embarrassed to say, wait, why is that funny? The worst is when I used to laugh and retell such scandalous and inappropriate jokes. Oh 7th grade Lana, why? I wonder which social cue is the hardest to not follow. My money would be on laughing. If everyone is laughing at something, you're probably a loser if you don't laugh.
I chose that one because I already see my students following. Some kids will laugh at something spontaneously. But if I re-read that book or re-sing that song, more and more kids start to laugh. It goes like this: One kid finds this song genuinely funny. The next time we sing it they laugh again, but so do the two kids next to her. But they wait to see if she laughs first. Oh she's laughing and having a good time? I want to as well. Then even if they don't understand why they are laughing they will always laugh during that part of the song if that first girl starts to laugh. It is so interesting to me.
Obviously social cues can be far more complex. When we lived in Provo, it seemed like nearly every person we knew was pregnant. I did want to have kids, but I had a hard time understanding how much I really wanted to get pregnant based on the silent social pressure of growing baby bumps. Now that we are in Texas we feel that that specific social cue is alleviated. On the contrary, a friend here said they weren't even thinking about having kids yet because no one they knew was having kids.
Now, here's a real question: is yawning a social cue?
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